Content note: sexual assault.
It’s 2024 and the spectre of Scott Kuggeleijn is back to haunt us, fresh from cashing in with Dubai Capitals (why him?) to playing for New Zealand in the 1st Test v Australia (no but seriously, why him???). I’ve heard this song before and I don’t like it.
Is there any point in someone writing about how much this sucks, again? Who knows. I do know it’s exasperating to feel like this is happening on a loop, all we can do is try to make some noise about it, but that noise is met with a layer of complacency from the people in charge. We did #MeToo already! We fixed this, right? We believe women now! All the baddies got cancelled, it’s not really our business what happens off the pitch, we’ll give the guys some consent training, you can retake the quiz as many times as you like don’t worry 🙂 aaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhh.
Recap: Scott Kuggeleijn was accused of rape in 2015. At trial in 2016 there was a hung jury. At a second trial in 2017 he was found Not Guilty. To be clear, a Not Guilty verdict doesn’t mean someone didn’t commit the crime; it means the jury couldn’t conclude beyond reasonable doubt that they did.
I’m a fair woman, so I am willing to hear out Kuggeleijn about what happened that morning, in his own words from the second trial.
As per the NZ Herald:
“At the trial, the complainant said she had said “no” to sex “dozens of times”. On the morning of the alleged assault, she said she repeatedly had to try and hold up her underwear as Kuggeleijn pressured her for sex. However, at one point, she said, she couldn’t hold them up any longer and he got them down, eventually holding her arms above her head and beginning to having [sic] sex with her.
In the stand, Kuggeleijn said he thought the complainant had been enjoying the intercourse because she was “breathing heavily” and acted the same as when he was touching her. Allegations that he used force were “not true”, he said.
When asked about the complainant’s evidence that she said “no” “dozens of times”, he said it was “a lie”. “I tried [having sex] twice, like she might have said ‘no, no’ a few times but it wasn’t dozens of times.”
He and his lawyer reiterated their defences from the first trial that the woman had been “provocatively dressed” and “looking for male attention”. Attention was also drawn to the amount of alcohol she had been drinking and her reliability as a witness.”
After leaving her flat he sent the woman a text via a mutual friend saying “I heard you felt you couldn’t say no and were pressured into things. It’s pretty chilling to hear and think of myself in that kind of light, but looking back I was pretty persistent.” This attack of conscience didn’t last long enough to put him off subsequently slutshaming her in court, mind.
My scorching hot take here is that if you’re at the point of being about to have sex with someone, it is usually very easy to tell if they want to do it. And if you’re not sure – maybe one or both of you are really drunk, maybe someone’s awkward or nervous – it’s easy to make sure. If for whatever reason you can’t be sure, you just don’t do it, right? Right.
The most charitable reading I can possibly give to his testimony is that he sincerely thought that because she had stopped saying no, and was breathing heavily, she had changed her mind. Say this really was an honest and terrible mistake – it wouldn’t change what happened to the woman. It wouldn’t change that she said no, or that she felt pressured into doing it. Kuggeleijn’s lawyer said during the case “a reluctant consent is still consent.” If that’s the philosophy underpinning the defence, it tells you all you need to know.
Rape culture isn’t just about rape itself, but a whole social ecosystem in which sexual assault is downplayed and normalised, victims are blamed and shamed, and organisations and institutions protect rapists and abusers, and shielding them from consequences
Rape culture has been so subsumed into our lives and our relationships that sometimes we don’t even recognise assaults as such when they happen to us. I have a distinct memory of offhandedly recounting to a friend something a boyfriend had done, and her having to gently tell me it was assault. When I subsequently told someone else about this, she said “my ex used to do that too”. It’s important to understand how common, how normal, how almost mundane a large number of assaults are to really understand how insidious rape culture is.
And then, even if you recognise and accept it happened to you – what the fuck are you actually supposed to do? It’s not just a matter of ‘get sexually assaulted, head down the police station and justice will be done’. While there are clear issues with how victims are treated within the legal system, it’s also by its nature a crime that is very difficult to prove, because it mostly happens in private. Assault is depressingly common; consequences for the perpetrators are depressingly rare.
We need a cultural shift, we can’t expect the criminal justice system to solve the problem of rape culture. Communities and organisations need to work to create an environment that doesn’t enable sexual assault – teaching about consent from a young age, listening to victims, sharing experiences, calling out problematic behaviour, holding people accountable for their actions and ensuring there are consequences beyond the decisions of the courts.
I think it’s reasonable to say that if someone has admitted to having sex with a woman who repeatedly said no, they shouldn’t be representing their country at cricket. Professional athletes don’t need to be heroes, but they are public figures, and there are certain moral standards that should be considered a bare minimum for having that kind of status – and an expectation of public accountability if they don’t meet them.
Seeing Scott Kuggeleijn playing for New Zealand, signing autographs for excited young children on the boundary, after what he’s done – again, it fucking reeks.
At face value, it seems very odd to be willing to throw survivors under the bus (about 1 in 5 adults in New Zealand have been sexually assaulted, including 1 in 3 women; it’s a large audience to tell they don’t matter) for a mediocre player who is pretty unpopular with fans. It would be reprehensible if he was the best player in the world too, but you’d at least see the twisted ‘sport first’ logic being employed.
The deafening silence from New Zealand Cricket makes it feel more sinister – surely if there was something reassuring to say, that reflected well on him and/or their decision to select him, they would have come out and said it already?
Anything said and done behind closed doors counts for nothing to fans who only see the public face of the team, who feel let down and hurt by his selection. Nobody should feel like they’re expected to cheer on a guy who has admitted to having sex with a woman who repeatedly said no as part of supporting their team. Nobody should have to think about sexual assault when they’re sitting down trying to enjoy a sport.
Maybe Scott Kuggeleijn is incredibly remorseful about his actions. Maybe he’s a completely changed man. We wouldn’t know, he’s never addressed it. I’m sure he’d like to just forget all about this incident and get on with his life. I’m sure the woman in question would like to forget all about it too. She won’t. Neither will we. 🌼
Ildikó Connell is one the five OG daisies and doesn’t want to fight with you on twitter today
Daisy Cutter 
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